The Celebrate Recovery AllTogether Rally was a game changer for me.
It's Friday morning, 5 days after returning home from Austin and all week I've been thinking that I need sit down and write about what God revealed to me at the AllTogether Rally. Of course the busyness of work combined with a case of the upper respiratory crud has kept me from doing it. This morning I woke up at 1:00 am and tried to go back to sleep for another hour before realizing the Holy Spirit was prompting me to get up and get to work. Yes, the coffee just finished brewing!
Pamela and I arrived in Austin last Thursday. After checking in to our hotel I went downstairs to meet a friend and prepare to head out to Shoreline Church Celebrate Recovery where I had an opportunity to share my testimony for the first time this year, 2018. I saw my dear friend, John Eklund, the Celebrate Recovery Eastern National Director in the corridor and stopped to talk. He and I joke around with each other constantly so when he asked me if I was ready to emcee the event on Saturday I just said, "sure, not a problem". I had no idea he was serious.
Friday morning as I was preparing to head over to the church for the run through of Saturdays events I again ran in to John Eklund. He said, "you have to be pretty excited", I said, "about what". He went on to tell me that I would really be the one sharing the announcements, basically emceeing the event on Saturday.
Well, I was touched, excited, honored, and nervous. Why did they want me to do this? Me, with the crazy, scratchy voice. Me, the not so easy on the eyes biker guy with the crazy hairdo and scraggly beard. Me, the insecure guy who wants so badly to be accepted and to fit in. Me, the guy who feels unworthy to serve on the Celebrate Recovery National Team. I've come to realize they don't see me like that, they don't see me as I see myself!
Friday, as we did the run through it all got real real! Yes, I was doing the announcements and they seemed to have no doubts about my ability to do it. The first ever AllTogether Rally and I was going to be on stage. As I battled the insecurity I noticed that I might not be alone.
Then Saturday came. Wow, what a day. As I listened to testimonies, poetry, worship, and praise I was broken! Yes, God broke me down right there. We laughed and learned with the Skit Guys, we were inspired by Hoseanna Poetry, we were shattered by Plumb, we were touched by Zach Williams, and we were amazed by Matthew West. We were blessed by the CR National Team sharing their heart, their wisdom, and their experience, strength, and hope in ways that I'd not heard any of it before. One of the most amazing days of my life! I watched hundreds come down the aisles to pick up blue chips and pray. Those new to CR and those, just like me, who were connected to CR for years but leaving different than when they came.
Ultimately, this is what God revealed to me on January 13, 2018. I am not alone! You may say, "of course, all of us at CR know that". Well, I thought I knew that. I thought I had a grasp on that concept as I shared it with others, that they weren't alone. All the while, in my bubble of insecurity feeling as though I was.
Now, to be honest, I still have those insecurities but the freedom for me comes in knowing that so does everyone else. When we see those that appear to "have it all together", we need to realize that they're just like us.
What God revealed to me last week is that we're all like little children. Wanting to be loved, to be liked, to fit in. Don't get me wrong, I'm secure in Christ but in Christ alone because in and of myself I'm a cowering child, scared to death. But in Christ, I was the Emcee of the first ever Celebrate Recovery AllTogether Rally! I am not alone and neither are you!
God revealed to me that none of us have it alltogether but we are in this AllTogether!