"Hold your breath scared!"
This morning, as my life moves in to a new season, I began thinking back a couple years ago when I went para sailing with my granddaughter in Myrtle Beach.
I remember her talking about it and me saying, sure, I’ll do it with you. What was I thinking? I’m deathly afraid of heights! I guess it sounded cool and I just didn’t think it through. In other words I didn’t have time to get scared before I opened my big mouth. Somewhere down deep I really didn’t think we’d do it.
Well, I was wrong. As we looked up the place, found out what time they opened, and the address. I remember thinking, “it’ll cost too much” or “it’s too early and we’ve got to go” but then as we arrived at the beach it started turning very real. As I watched others riding the banana boat out to the speed boat I only became more nervous but I was determined to do it. I can remember going out to the boat, laughing nervously and trying to be brave. They strapped us to the parachute and began to let out the cable. I was scared to death!!!!! I couldn’t breathe, I closed my eyes, I thought I would have a panic attack.
But then….. I opened my eyes. Wow, we were 500 feet up in the air. It was peaceful and smooth. I loved it! It was nothing like I imagined. While I thought the wind would be whipping, the noise would be horrible, and the height would be terrifying…. I was wrong. It was so serene. No wind or noise…the view was incredible, and all my fears went away.
At the moment my life is going through a similar experience. Things began to change about a year ago, after my mother died. God opened up a door for me to do ministry on a motorcycle. Then, I got involved in Broken Chains. In the fall of last year 2016 I felt God calling me to travel, preach, and share. To let others, around the country know that change is possible. I had always enjoyed travelling to share my testimony but now I was feeling like I needed to be doing more. That church congregations needed to hear this message as well as waiters, cashiers, and hurting people everywhere I stopped. In January I began to plan out the year. Planning to be on the road as much as two weeks out of every month. God began to open more doors and He also showed me I couldn’t do everything.
In order to continue to travel and pursue my calling I’ve had to make some huge changes with my business. We are currently closing the showroom I’ve operated out of for the last three years, moving in to a much smaller, less expensive space, and cutting back on the workforce. I’ve been planning this for a few months however I’m at that stage where it’s scary. Kind of like riding that banana boat out to meet the speed boat. This is getting very real….. I’m struggling financially. I have concerns, fears, and doubts but then…….. I open my eyes!
I don’t know much but I do know that I trust God and that I’m doing what He’s called me to do. Much like that 800 foot cable He’s got me. I’m not at that sweet, serene spot yet but I’m strapped in and the cable is letting me out. I’m beginning to fly!