I spent most of my life looking for love in all the wrong places. I was looking for love through “people pleasing”, attempting to “fit in”, by “wearing a mask”. I was defining love by how much attention someone gave me, by how much someone needed me, and by how much
someone did for me. The big issue was that I couldn’t find it or define it because I didn’t know what it was or looked like. I couldn’t “identify” it.
I only knew love by what others had shown me or told me. We learn so much by the people that surround us and many times those folks aren’t clear about any of this either. Many times we can be “damaged” because our parents were damaged because their parents were damaged because their parents were damaged. I hope you get the picture. It’s not their fault. Just like for many of us, this is learned behavior.
If, as a child, you were fed the same meat over and over. Told it was beef. The people feeding you the meat thought it was beef because the people they learned from told them it was beef. Just because everyone thought it was beef doesn’t mean it came from a cow!
1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.
What if someone came to you and told you what you’d been eating the whole time was chicken! First off it would be hard to believe. You’d have to have faith, you’d have to try the beef. That would change everything. In other words you’ve been searching for a cow in a chicken coup!
When I came to know His love I realized I had been looking for love in all the wrong places. His word defined love for me:
The really cool part is now that I know the definition of love I’ve learned to look for love in all the right places! I can also show others around me, my family, friends, and others I meet what real love is.
Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that I’ve given up chicken…… I continue to stumble along the path of co dependency but now I know the difference between chicken and beef.